Nine Ways to Wreck Your Job

The last post was a little heavy, so I thought I’d write this one with a little less seriousness.

Looking for some great opportunities to wreck you job? Here’s a list of six things that will shake things up in the workplace:

  1. Bring a machete to work, and keep it on your desk.
  2. Get some bright pink sunglasses, and never take them off.
  3. Always refer to yourself in third person, and insert “silly” before your name. (eg. “Can you meet about that proposal with silly Kyle today?”)
  4. Unless you have a uniform, wear the same thing to work every day.
  5. Remove all of the letter e’s from your emails and letters.
  6. Always bring your pets with you to work.
  7. Spend your lunch breaks under your desk.
  8. Send out a daily photo of yourself to the rest of the staff. (Childhood photos should work fine.)
  9. Pretend like you have an imaginary friend who lives in your desk drawer.

6 thoughts on “Nine Ways to Wreck Your Job

  1. Wanna hear something scary? My closest neighbor in the worship office has been threatening to do number 1 on the list. When it happens, I’m outta there!

  2. Silly Nathan laughed so hard at these. I am doing 1,3 and 9 from now on at my college job.

  3. This advice has already helped me out tremendously at my job. I am elated to finally have a list that is written down.

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